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How to create a sales letter that gets you customers

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Sales letter for the cleaning businessUPDATED 10/17/2021: One of the greatest salesman to ever walk the earth once said the following “Don’t sell the steak, sell the sizzle“.

Elmer Wheeler coined that phrase during the 1940’s. He is a true legend to anyone who has studied the science behind writing sales letters that “sell”.

Though that time period seems like an eternity ago, his approach to sales remains as current today as it was then. So whether or not you have heard of him before, his genius has touched us all in one way or another.

Now some of you may be left wondering… What does Elmer mean when he says don’t sell the steak sell the sizzle? Well, what he’s getting at is to sell the BENEFITS of what you are offering, NOT the product itself.

For those of us in the cleaning business the “steak” is the cleaning business we own. And if you notice, far too many people who try to promote their cleaning business do nothing but try to sell the “steak” instead of the “sizzle”.

How do they do that? Well, the 2 main reasons are…

  1. They make their logo or company name the focus of the letter.
  2. They talk about themselves too much.

You now know how wrong that approach is. Remember what Elmer said? Sell the benefits! Now you must be asking what benefits are we selling in the cleaning business? Well… that’s easy!

  1. Clean bathrooms (for clean freaks)
  2. Shiny sinks and faucets (for clean freaks)
  3. Sanitized kitchen counters (for clean freaks)
  4. Corner to corner mopping  (for clean freaks)
  5. Healthy environments (for people concerned with germs)
  6. Family run company (for those who seek a “personal touch”)
  7. Covered by Workman’s Comp (for those worried about hiring a legit company)
  8. Insured & bonded staff (for those worried about hiring a legit company)
  9. Uniformed employees (for those interested in knowing “who” is cleaning)
  10. An overall cleaner office (for employers who care about their staff’s environment)

I could go on and on… but you get the idea.

To draw an analogy, when the Presidential election comes around every four years what’s the main focus? Normally it revolves around the ECONOMY right? Know why? That’s the main BENEFIT we all get! This concept of selling benefits is done to perfection by politicians!

Anyway… we now know WHY the benefits are so vital, so lets move on to the other elements of a successful sales letter. Though this is not a complete list of what’s in a sales letter, it contains the minimum required in my book…

Sales Letter Elements

  1. Headline (meant to GRAB their attention)
  2. Salutation (Dear “so and so”)
  3. Body of the letter (the “guts” of the letter)
  4. Your signature (this makes it more “personal”)
  5. Postscript (Don’t forget the “P.S.”)

Sales Letter “Headline”

Of the 5 items in the group above, the headline is widely considered the most important. Now why is that? Well, because if the headline fails to get the reader’s attention, everything that follows will not get read. It’s that simple!

Think of it this way. When you scan the pages of a newspaper, or even a website like CNN, what are you generally looking at? HEADLINES! When you find one that grabs you, you proceed to read the first few paragraphs to see what’s inside. Everything else gets DISCARDED.

Your potential customers are doing the same!

So it goes without further comment. You need a good headline! Now let’s create one from scratch. One that is compelling enough to get read, without sounding like the National Enquirer.

Money-saving cleaning services right around the corner

As you can see, this headline is crafted around the idea that your company is more affordable than the competition PLUS you are LOCAL. In the letter that follows we will DRIVE home those points to the reader.

Sales Letter Salutation

How you address the reader is very important. If you happen to know their name, then by all means USE IT. A letter that is addressed personally is better than one without, just keep in mind that it’s not the end all be all. For instance, if you knew their name then make the opening…

Dear Donald, 

If you didn’t know their name then you may want to use a more generic opening such as…

Dear Office Manager,

Dear Facilities Manager,

Dear Homeowner,

Like I mentioned a moment ago, the more personal the better. With that said many times you simply won’t know that for various reasons so don’t sweat it when you first get going.

Sales Letter Body

This is the guts of the letter and should be written as if you are speaking to just one person. For best results simply pretend for a moment you are speaking DIRECTLY to the target, as if they were in front of you.

It may go something like this…

Tired of calling your current cleaning company trying to get them to do what they said they would in the first place? You are not alone.

You could replace them with the latest “big name” franchise. I’m sure they do nice work, but they come with outrageous monthly fees (someone’s has to pay for their pretty letterhead, logo and fancy advertising).

Let me suggest a far better option.

ABC Cleaning LLC.

My name is Alice Morgan and I own the cleaning company that’s been delivering great results for local businesses like Diamond Kitchen & Doors, Merlot Winery and Smith Pediatrics.

My company is located right in your town and I would love to share with you how I can make a difference in the overall appearance of your facility.

Give me a call at 555-555-5555 to set up a meeting to discuss how ABC Cleaning can solve your problem once and for all. You can pick up the phone to learn a little more, ask a question or just say hello. The choice is yours.

Isn’t it time you discovered what many other businesses in town have already learned? That affordable, dependable and highly responsive cleaning services are available just a stones throw away.

P.S. We are currently offering 50% off our first full month of cleaning to all new customers. This won’t last long, so don’t delay. Call me at 555-555-5555 to learn more.

Sincerely,

Alice Morgan

ABC Cleaning LLC

————————————————————————-

See how it sounded  more like a personal letter than a self-promoting piece of sales literature? That was no accident! Now I don’t guarantee that sales letter will work, I will say it has all the elements of one that would.

If you noticed, I didn’t use any of the benefits we listed earlier in this post. Instead I tackled this from a different angle… AFFORDABILITY and ACCOUNTABILITY.

At the end of the day a hundred different approaches could be used.

We could have put a laser focus on clean bathrooms, and how we are able to clean them better. Or it could have been about Green Cleaning, and how safe that is. You name the benefit, a special sales letter can be crafted for it.

The Post Script (P.S.)

The end of the letter needs to have a post script. Know why? Because studies show that to be one of the most read parts of the whole letter. This also makes for a great time to drive home the reasons why the reader should contact you RIGHT NOW. Including an offer in this part is highly recommended!

Anyway… keep in mind that this letter will tend to work best if you already have a few accounts under your belt, as the goal here is to get the reader comfortable with your company by suggesting other companies have already signed on and are happy with your work.

With all that said, I’m making this letter available as a download (the link below will open another window where the file can be downloaded). I am also including a modified sales letter for the house cleaning market. Both are in OpenOffice format so you can edit them as you please. Without further ado, feel free to download and modify as needed.

Commercial Cleaning Sales Letter

Click Here To Go To Download Page (LOOK FOR FILE  #3A)

House Cleaning Sales Letter

Click Here To Go To Download Page (LOOK FOR FILE #3B)

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  7. Thanks Tom, For all your advice. I am new in the cleaning business and have been learning everything I can to promote my business and be successful. I am learning a lot from you. You have been a great inspiration to me.Thank you for all your help and the free downloads. they become very helpful for me as examples. I haven’t put one to use yet. But I plan on it.
    Sincerely,
    Mary

  8. I’m so happy to hear that! You are on the right track by learning as much as possible. If you ever need anything or have a suggestion for a post just let me know.

  13. Hi Tom,
    This is great advice no matter what kind of business you run. I think the saturation portion is particularly important. Thanks for sharing your post with the BizSugar community.

  16. Hey Sean! I’m very happy to be able to help. While I certainly don’t know everything (that’s for sure), my experiences hopefully shed light and make the process easier for beginners.

  19. thank you but i need to talk to you specifically for the unigue sitation of our cleaning service in Africa

  21. you have thoroughly inspired me and i have made up my mind about going into cleaning for profit . Thank you

  25. I’m so glad I found this website and learn a lot from it. I would like to start a cleaning business but didn’t know where to start. I would like to start small without employee.

  26. Hi Brenda! Well we are very happy to have you! Starting small, THEN slowly growing from there is the BEST way. You get your feet wet, some money coming in and learn the in’s and outs. If you have any questions, just touch base!

  27. We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our
    community. Your website offered us with valuable info to work on.

    You’ve done an impressive job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

  29. Hi Tom,

    I am new to this, and certainly appreciated your help. It was quite useful and informative.

  31. Hey Tom,

    I m new on this site but things you wrote on this site they quiet helpful but I haven’t use it yet but will use it definitely.
    Thanks for help but I keep in touch with if I need I information about running the business.
    Thanking you
    Regards
    Gagan

  33. Great information! I am sending out these to try and gain some more business. 2 questions: Do you put a return address?
    and how often would you suggest sending them out, and would you send the same sales letter each time.

  34. Hi La Tunya! I used to use my name and address as a return address (no mention of company) and I would send one out every 6 weeks or so to the same address. What do credit card companies do? They POUND you constantly with offers until you give in.

  35. Hi. I am wanting to mail out sales letters. Do I get professional address labels made up or is hand written more personal?

  38. Hi Thor! I did an emergency software update and the download links were deleted as part of that process. I will be putting the links back up over the next week or so. If you can, email me on the contact form and I’ll send it to you over the weekend.

  39. Thanks Tom!! This is very helpful. I am starting my own company and your information you are sharing is great.

  41. WOW! Thank you so much for everything on your website Tom, I was almost about to give up on prospecting for new cleaning contracts. After going through your blogs it has really brought back the spark! Just wondering if it would be effective to go in personally and drop these letters off and follow up with a phone call ? My question would then be, how would I get the Facility Managers personal number and also their name? Thanks in advance all the way from New Zealand, and keep up the awesome work Tom! Cheers

  42. Hi Niraj! It’s a pleasure to speak to you from so far away! I love it. Anyway… You can drop off a sales letter, flyers and business card at the front desk of a facility. Following up with a phone call will be impossible. I’ve done this with success.

    The best way will still be mailing them, as you can do hundred and hundreds at a time, while walking around can only allow for so many to be given out. If you have time, give some out the old fashioned way, if you have some cash… mail them.

    Remember to TARGET the audience properly. I like doctors offices, because they need cleaning REGLARLY. So I would mail to them over and over again.

  45. Hi Tom,
    We are a new cleaning service we just opened in May 2015. We are a Family owned service, I do all the marketing and my wife does all the cleaning with her employee, you have been a huge help with motivation, and all of your post have been on key. I am about to start do mailings for realtors and offices. I was wondering if we should add anything else in the envelope beside a letter, I know a few business cards will be good but should I create a brochure or will just the letter and cards be sufficient, just wondering what works for you?

  46. Hi Peter! I’m happy to have been a help. To your question… You need three things, that’s it! Good sales letter, magnetic business card (3mag is the company I used) and a flyer that drives home some special offer (20% off if you act before Nov 15th). That is all I ever did in my entire life. Never used a brochure, but you could if you wanted to.

  48. Yea… the magnets were my secret weapon. They have a high PERCEIVED VALUE so people don’t throw them out. I saw them plastered all over my customer accounts (on fridges, metal filing cabinets etc…).

  49. Dear Tom,
    i run a Domestic Cleaning company, and over the past few years have lost a lot of customers, some to Cleaners who steal your customers, some to death, some who cannot afford the service.
    I have a list of emails of certain customers that i wish to contact and welcome them back to our business, could you possibly send me a template letter/email i can send to these customers.
    Your help is appreciated